Miranda Lambert released the music video to her new single, “Vice,” yesterday (Sept. 7). And boy is it a metaphorical doozy. Hell, it’s a regular ol’ metaphorical promise land—full of wreckage, crossroads and, yup, vices.
I decided to break down the video—frame by frame, metaphor by metaphor—and give you my two cents’ worth. Without further ado, here’s my slanted interpretation of each metaphor. Keep in mind, this isn’t serious.
Looks like we’ve got a single-car wreck on our hands. We don’t know who is driving yet, but we can assume he or she is an awful driver.
Metaphor: Sometimes you actually have to wreck to slow down. It’s deep, I know.
It’s our first glimpse of Miranda as she emerges from the wreckage unscathed—and her hair looks amazing.
Metaphor: This woman is a horrible driver. This is by no means a representation of all women.
During the wreck, Miranda loses a boot. But no worries, she finds it and puts it back on.
Metaphor: After a setback, pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
Miranda leaves the scene of the wreck without calling the police. Her insurance company is going to be pissed.
Metaphor: Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Miranda makes her way to a small town and ditches her fringed jacket.
Metaphor: Fringe is soooo last year in this small town.
Miranda walks past a woman reading the Daily Gazette—a fine newspaper, if ever there was one.
Metaphor: Chaos is old news.
Miranda walks through some bubbles that two girls are blowing. Bubbles are nice, aren’t they?
Metaphor: Where are bubbles blown nowadays? Weddings. Naturally, it’s not a stretch to assume Miranda will be getting married soon.
A blackbird flies by.
Metaphor: In literature, blackbirds can symbolize the unknown. But don’t fret. Miranda has already survived a car wreck. She’s up for a little danger.
An unnecessary shot of a Star Biscuit Co. advertisement.
Metaphor: Either Miranda has invested in Star Biscuit Co. stock or her future is light and fluffy.
Miranda walks into a seedy bar where a handsome bartender awaits. She trades her lone earring—did you notice she was only wearing one?—for a smoke and a shot.
Metaphor: In a pinch, an earring is a girl’s best friend.
Miranda leaves the bar and begins walking out of town. She walks past two roadside crosses.
Metaphor: Death waits for no (wo)man.
Miranda comes to a crossroads.
Metaphor: Sell your soul to the Devil so you can play guitar like Robert Johnson.
Miranda gets into the backseat of a driverless car and leaves the scene.
Metaphor: Elon Musk is the future.
Enjoy the entire video below.