Today’s installment features the video to Aaron Tippin’s 1995 No. 1 tune, “That’s as Close as I’ll Get to Loving You,” complete with timely notes to help you further appreciate the man, the myth, the muscle, the mustache.
“That’s as Close as I’ll Get to Loving You”
First of all, you’ll notice the video is in black and white. Why? Because this is the Casablanca of ’90s country music videos—full of angst and unrequited love. Now, back to the play-by-play. This is our first glimpse of what we assume to be a rich poindexter (notice his big house, nerdy glasses and suspenders). Also, notice his smoking-hot wife, who is wearing a bathrobe because she doesn’t have to go to work. Must be a nice life.
Take a gander at the yard help—yep, it’s Aaron Tippin with his glorious mustache, flannel shirt and tool belt. And yes, he is wearing an undershirt (just a little foreshadowing).
Aaron waves to the poindexter, as if to say, “Don’t worry about me sleeping with your wife while you’re at work.”
The poindexter waves back, not the least concerned with Aaron’s rugged masculinity impressing his wife while he’s gone.
Aaron makes eye contact with the smoking-hot wife, and gives her a head nod. He’s just here to clean the yard and such.
The smoking-hot wife is impressed. But who wouldn’t be?
A sweaty Aaron finds refuge in his fortress of solitude: the tool shed, where he has stripped down to his A-shirt, as these old-fashioned sleeveless numbers are called, and is reverse-seated in a chair—because that’s how a badass sits in a chair. He also begins to sing about his unrequited love.
Aaron cuts a little lumber with a circular saw. Nothing to see here, or is there?
Now it’s time to water the trees.
The smoking-hot wife is joined by her smoking-hot friends (who are also unemployed) for a day of relaxing under the pergola and sipping beverages. Perhaps the sweaty yard boy (or is it yard man?) would like a sip.
Indeed, Aaron is thirsty, and the beverage is most appreciated. If only there was a way he could more appropriately thank her. But remember, Aaron waved at the poindexter earlier, and his wave is much like his handshake—a bond that won’t be broken.
Aaron does a little bit of stalking from his fortress of solitude.
No harm, no foul.
Unnecessary close-up of the smoking-hot wife drinking from a straw. This was the ’90s, and straws were considered very sexy.
Back in the yard, Aaron displays more of his rugged masculinity by swinging a pickaxe. He’s sweaty…very sweaty.
Smoking-hot wife is also sweaty. It’s time for a dip in the pool. Is Aaron invited?
Find out in 11 seconds.
He is not invited.
Back in the tool shed, a glistening Aaron now stands from his seated position and wails.
We all feel his pain.
To everyone’s disappointment, poindexter returns home from work to see that his wife has not been ravaged by Aaron.
It’s time for Aaron to go home—just a man, his mustache and his muscles. Surely he finds solace in a hard day’s work.
Oh, he does, he surely does.